Dear Friends and Naples Family,
I am sharing Mendel’s personal moment with all, in the hope that this message connects with you as it did with us.
In Ashkenazic tradition, a Bar Mitzvah boy has a celebration about two months before the actual Bar Mitzvah day, known as hanachat tefilin, when the boy dons tefillin for the first time. This is one of the highlights of the transition from boy to man.
We went back and forth as to what was the best location for Mendel to actually lay tefillin for the first time, but in the end we decided that Mendel should actually lay Tefilin for the first time during a visit to the Rebbe’s resting place in NY, known as “the Ohel”. Throughout our history, the holy resting places of the righteous have served as spiritual oases. The Ohel is no different, and draws a wide range of visitors every day seeking prayers and blessings.We also have close family members, Zaidy and Bubby and our great grandmother in NY.
As it happened, the location, timing, and choice turned out much more powerful and memorable than expected. Although many would call it a coincidence, as a Chassidic rabbi I have no other choice but to call it divine providence. As we gathered, a friend noticed that near us stood the family of Eyal Yifrah from El’ad Israel. Eyal was one of the three teenage boys who was kidnapped and murdered in the summer of 2014. Eyal's and his friends’ parents made international headlines for their bravery and strength, so powerful in the face of tragedy. They served as an inspiration for so many.
I walked over to the parents, and introduced myself and explained that we were visiting this very special place for Mendel's laying tefilin. Just this Shabbas in my talk I had spoken about them and the example of their steadfast belief in the face of the unreal and how one’s faith can be challenged.
Eyal’s mom was moved by this gesture and and came over to our family and said L’chaim in honor of Mendel. Recalling everything she went through, she said something I will never forget, that encouraged Mendel and all of us: “Do whatever you can to be happy ever day.” THESE WERE HER EXACT WORDS. She went on to explain how every day when she wakes up, it’s a struggle to find happiness. Through a smile and tears she shared that at simchas, happy occasions, one just has to be happy and enjoy every moment. It was such a moving tribute to her pain and and touched us all to the core as she shared how this little gesture of our saying L’chaim together and letting her know that we shared a few words on Shabbas and that we are all praying for them meant so much.
It was a mere iota of comfort but for me in Eyal's grieving mother I saw a reflection of all grieving mothers, and my own mother who unfortunately also lost a son at too young an age. I recall how my mother barely looked at pictures of my brother since any memory triggered such pain. And then when we dedicated a Torah in his memory my mother said how she was able to find some comfort. While I cannot fathom the pain of Eyal's loved ones, it is my hope that by their seeing more boys continue to inspire joy in the path of Torah, they will gain some comfort from Eyal’s legacy.
This interaction was so special for us and particularly for Mendel as he approaches adulthood with renewed purpose in his life.
There are many times in life that if we were just aware of encounters, we would be making life-changing connections. As our New Year approaches, let us all take inspiration from this woman and be happy, enjoy the moments and live the happiness she was speaking about.
As we look at this photo of this very special interaction, may we begin the New Year by finding joy in every moment of our lives and may we be blessed only with simchas!
Rabbi Fishel & Ettie Zaklos